On the eve of my 40th birthday, I wasn’t going to write anything. I am time poor, super tired and feeling a lot let down by some people.
Sounds depressive, doesn’t it? It isn’t. I was a born overachiever. A workaholic. A perfectionist. A people pleaser and most of all a success searcher and after 39 complete years on this planet, none of that is working well for me.
Today was my proof, even though there has been an inkling of this within me for some time.
I need to rest. I need to stop putting so much pressure on myself. I need to work on my health and wellbeing and most of all I need to stop saying yes to shit, especially if when saying yes I am also saying no to something I personally need, like time, money or freedom.
In what seems like an eternity of working hard, always trying to do better and the best, I recognise it no longer sits well with me.
I don’t want to focus on success. I don’t want to list here all the things I want from the next 40 years because I already have what I want, I just need to nurture them more.
I just want to find joy in mediocrity.
It doesn’t mean I will become complacent, boring or lazy. Or give up the things I love that I hope to grow, like this blog. It just means that the consuming idea in my head that I need success to be fulfilled has left me. And I am not saying that I don’t want to be successful because I do. I just feel that I am going about it all the wrong way.
I am thinking that moving into 40 with this game plan could mean the difficulties of the previous years may pass. Swimming upstream is never easy, is it?
So here we go .. into my 40’s finding joy in mediocrity. Simples.
Ps. I read this back to myself fist pumping, in the same way, those wankers on social media that are trying to sell me their wonderful lifestyle of success and wealth do. Because I am an arsehole like that. (see awful humour hasn’t been sold out to this mediocre thing either)